3am

by skylarhaubert

I’m lying to myself saying that I’m up this late in attempt to ward of jet lag coming home tomorrow. But the real reason is I’m using the internet to ward off all feelings of sadness that come while lying in the dark, alone, in my London bed for the last time. I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not cry.

But just to set things straight, friends, I’m not sad about coming home. I’m sad about leaving. Jenna shared with me earlier that it hurts to hear that I’m sad about coming back to a place that makes her so happy. But that’s all wrong! I’m totally excited about coming home! I have a ton of things to look forward to in the upcoming year. However, I’m absolutely torn because I hate leaving and saying goodbye to the friends I’ve made and the life I’ve built here. I’m emotionally exhausted and I’m so desperately trying to put my heart in two places at once: home and my home away from home. 

But let me tell you what I’m excited for:

Running up to my parents at the airport

Swooping up Grayson and giving him a giant kiss

Giving Jenna the biggest hug ever and not letting go for 5 minutes

Meeting Matt in person for the first time tomorrow night

Racy’s blend

and my bed. My big, comfy, warm bed. 

Not to mention summer and all the fun that comes along with it!

 

See you soon America!

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